The Suffocation

It is suffocating. It is suffocating.

Feels very numbing when I had to abandon my desires. Enforced, thrust with this forced mission upon me to embrace the sins I have committed. 

Well, it matters not in the long run. I already lost the battle, and soon the entire war itself. Let the reality sink in a despair horizon, as the skies shade darkens with the season changing.

For I even lost myself, neglect the personal desires I held within me. For a father whom had no understanding of what I bury beneath the mask. For a mother whom enforced into struggle cause of mine fault. For a younger brother who felt I am disappointment of a big brother. For I am nothing more than sheer disgrace.

For I should just abandon myself, mask myself in the darkness beneath. I hold ill to everything, but nothing will care. Perhaps, a stain red is an answer to everything.